Hoping is not enough to live upon
I don't know about any other lefties out there, but I am frankly starting to get a little bit concerned about several of my friends and acquaintances apparent lack of control when it comes to pre-election excitement*. This, from a bunch of people who with the power of their cynicism could usually put a shuttle into orbit.
For those who are wondering, here is the appropriate way to deal with the Federal politics news of the past few months.
1. Rudd elected leader of ALP
Appropriate response: "Couldn't be any worse than Beazley"
Inappropriate response: "GAH! Labor becomes competitive! Hooray Rudd/Gillard, it's a whole new ball game, here comes a clutch of Queensland/Victorian seats we never would have won otherwise, etc"
2. Rudd gains ground quickly in the polls
AR: "Honeymoon. REMEMBER LATHAM"
IR: "It's HAPPENING! IT'S HAPPENING!"
3. Rudd gains even more ground including an idiotic headline: "Mr 65 per cent", Howard reshuffles cabinet
AR: "Meh. He was going to do that anyway. It's an election year"
IR: "Gillard will eat Hockey for breakfast! Ha ha ha ha we're number ONE etc"
4. McKew preselected in Bennelong, Combet so committed to Labor cause that he vows to continue fight from labour movement
AR: "Labor can't win Bennelong" (resist temptation to make some comment about the relative hotness of Greg Combet. After all, he is a fancier of birds)
IR: "Maxine McKew will wipe the floor with Howard and by the way Greg Combet is so hot right now"
Like Rudd, I am preaching restraint in this instance. Excitement is fine, as long as it is channeled into making sure that the 16 seats which form the Howard majority are whittled back to, let's say, none. Apparently it is a common tactic to assure MPs that they are doing VERY BADLY INDEED in order to spur them on to greater victory (and you can see it in the backbencher revolts against Howard lately re social justice issues - those folks are rightly concerned that their seats are in a very tight spot indeed. And also, y'know, The West Wing). That's my plan. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't think you need cover your car with bunting and streamers yet.
Cupcakes should not yet be made, nor commemorative t-shirts stockpiled. I was suitably skeptical last time we did this (Federal) thing** and then allowed myself just enough excitement to be completely and desperately disappointed the government didn't change.
C'mon kids. We're cynical enough the rest of the time. Why not now?***
* Ms Fits, you will notice, has been stoically counting down for the last three years, and comments to her blog of the last six months or so have gotten decidedly more frantic re the count-down and impending election. Also, for some reasons it seems to be all anyone can talk about at the moment....or maybe I've just been listening to too much 774.
** Worth noting that plenty of people I know now reckon they saw the wheels falling off much earlier than they admitted at the time. Ah, hindsight is a wonderful thing.
*** Of course maintaining cynicism doesn't prevent you (and all your friends) from moving to a marginal seat, or giving some time to a political campaign.
For those who are wondering, here is the appropriate way to deal with the Federal politics news of the past few months.
1. Rudd elected leader of ALP
Appropriate response: "Couldn't be any worse than Beazley"
Inappropriate response: "GAH! Labor becomes competitive! Hooray Rudd/Gillard, it's a whole new ball game, here comes a clutch of Queensland/Victorian seats we never would have won otherwise, etc"
2. Rudd gains ground quickly in the polls
AR: "Honeymoon. REMEMBER LATHAM"
IR: "It's HAPPENING! IT'S HAPPENING!"
3. Rudd gains even more ground including an idiotic headline: "Mr 65 per cent", Howard reshuffles cabinet
AR: "Meh. He was going to do that anyway. It's an election year"
IR: "Gillard will eat Hockey for breakfast! Ha ha ha ha we're number ONE etc"
4. McKew preselected in Bennelong, Combet so committed to Labor cause that he vows to continue fight from labour movement
AR: "Labor can't win Bennelong" (resist temptation to make some comment about the relative hotness of Greg Combet. After all, he is a fancier of birds)
IR: "Maxine McKew will wipe the floor with Howard and by the way Greg Combet is so hot right now"
Like Rudd, I am preaching restraint in this instance. Excitement is fine, as long as it is channeled into making sure that the 16 seats which form the Howard majority are whittled back to, let's say, none. Apparently it is a common tactic to assure MPs that they are doing VERY BADLY INDEED in order to spur them on to greater victory (and you can see it in the backbencher revolts against Howard lately re social justice issues - those folks are rightly concerned that their seats are in a very tight spot indeed. And also, y'know, The West Wing). That's my plan. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't think you need cover your car with bunting and streamers yet.
Cupcakes should not yet be made, nor commemorative t-shirts stockpiled. I was suitably skeptical last time we did this (Federal) thing** and then allowed myself just enough excitement to be completely and desperately disappointed the government didn't change.
C'mon kids. We're cynical enough the rest of the time. Why not now?***
* Ms Fits, you will notice, has been stoically counting down for the last three years, and comments to her blog of the last six months or so have gotten decidedly more frantic re the count-down and impending election. Also, for some reasons it seems to be all anyone can talk about at the moment....or maybe I've just been listening to too much 774.
** Worth noting that plenty of people I know now reckon they saw the wheels falling off much earlier than they admitted at the time. Ah, hindsight is a wonderful thing.
*** Of course maintaining cynicism doesn't prevent you (and all your friends) from moving to a marginal seat, or giving some time to a political campaign.
posted by gigglewick at
9:20 am
11 Comments:
Talk is cheap. What are you going to do about it?
Hallelujah. Couldn't agree more, at the end of the day, this is politics: anything less than complete cynicism is false hope.
Having said that, I'm looking into the 'move to the marginal seat' thing.
Dare to dream, Giggles, dare to dream.
I too briefly got excited when Mark Latham was reading to children and setting the agenda on Parliamentary super and generally making the government look shaky.
It was just unfortunate that he turned out to be a complete nut and most people were too scared to vote for him.
IN HINDSIGHT, he was not the best candidate.
The good news is that Kevin Rudd is quite sane and he has become immensely popular without doing anything much (and does anyone even remember tha Julia Gillard is a member of this government? Has she been on holidays for the last two months or something?) which means that people want to get rid of Howard and all they need is a reasonable alternative who will not confuse them (Beazley), bore them (Crean) or scare eight kind of hell out of them at the thought that he might randomly come to their houses and punch them (I think you know who we're talking about here).
The little dessicated coconut is going down this time.
The good news is that I already live in a marginal seat so I don't have to move.
I am trying to keep the faith at the moment, but I can't help agreeing with you Gigglewick, this is going to be a tough fight. I live in a marginal electorate (Kingston) that the ALP lost because the last ALP incumbent seemed to be entirely AWOL during the last election and Ryan 'Fitzy' Fitgerald from BB04 and Adelaide radio Nova campaigned for the neanderthal Lib candidate. Give us half visible (not even half decent) candidate and I swear we'll get it back.
On a side note I am starting an overseas voter registration campaign. If you know of anyone living/travelling OS that wants Howard et al to go, please click through to my blog for the easy details on how they can vote from overseas. Sorry about the shameless blog-scalping!
I'm trying to be quietly confident, but have become prone to increasingly erratic bouts of violent gloating in the presence of AHV (Actual Howard Voters) - because they're not the ones who are going to change their minds. I don't gloat in front of swinging voters, because that's just not going to do Rudd any favours. I am dignified and extremely economically responsible in their presence...
I didn't actually mind Latham, but could see how Middle Australia would be scared shitless of him...
You are 100% right Gigglewick and when the Libs pull something out about interest rates in the last couple of weeks again and make all those who own several investment properties nervous (is it just me or does EVERYONE in Australia seem to own investment properties, aside from me of course who is still renting because of the overinflated housing market). I even had a comment on my blog the other day about interest rates going up under Labour, which is interesting considering the recent rises in rates.
We are in the honeymoon period but if Rudd doesn't start scaring people with troops home by Christmas and by beating up a couple of taxi drivers then Labour might be in with a chance. I keep thinking that the coallition wouldn't be in power if they hadn't joined together. Can't Labour have a coallition with a decent, more lefty party.
Thanks all for your comments. I like to party on down with the Howard-is-an-arse-pain as much as the rest of 'em, but I don't want to assume that the logical conclusion of what's going on now is a change of government. Like I said, I've been down that road MANY A TIME.
Also will spend election night this time at home*, ALONE IF POSSIBLE, celebrating or commiserating in my own company, and perhaps that of Mr Fix, if he can stand it.
Chai,
Have moved to "tiger country" to sow the seeds of dissent. Seriously.
Mizanthrop,
Awesome. Thanks for commenting and also good luck with the move. I hear Bowman is lovely this time of year....
INCraig,
Watching Michelle O'Byrne concede Bass at 6:30pm on election night 2004 was one of my darkest moments in politics-watching, hence my commendations now that people STOP BEING SO DAMN EXCITED.
BTW, watch what you say about Julia, mister. She is hellish awesome.
Nai,
Moving overseas was a pretty extreme way to avoid pre-election frenzy. But good for you on the registration thing - my sister did the same and forced all of her travelling companions to also. I think she checked who they were going to vote for first though (!)
Actonb,
oooh. I hadn't considered that by spending every cent of my pay each week I was demonstrating a lack of economic credentials. Dammit. I actually thought Latham was pretty good, if a little nut-barrish, but unfortunately I only get one vote, and he clearly did not appeal to ANYONE ELSE.
KR,
Don't worry - I don't have an investment property, I just live in one. I also think we should be OUT of the honeymoon period by now, which is what's making me jumpy.
I'm pleased if everyone would like to call me a negative-nellie doomsayer, but it's still 16 seats and I don't think it's time to name all our subsequent children Kevin (or heaven forbid, RUDD) yet.
* Last election I had a party. Ooooh boy. Not doing that again.
Giggles
Just to clear up any possible misunderstandings here, I think Julia may be the finest politician this country has seen in a decade and I wish she was leading the party. I was just trying to suggest that her talents could be better utilised. I would hate to see her fade into the background in the manner of, say, Jenny Macklin.
Incidentally, I have only ever been to one election night party. That was in 1996. I hear you on the 'not doing that again'
INCraig,
I suspected as much. All is forgiven.
Holy canoli. You are crazy.
Yep.
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