My Ambivalence Knows No Equivalence

I have a week of my 20s left.

What's that? Oh sorry, nothing.

If there is a perpetual trophy for being unconcerned by the passing of a so-called milestone, I think it must have my name on it this year.

One of my friends reckons that it's not the first year that gets you (because you can still say you're 30), it's the NEXT year, when you have to say you're "in your thirties", and so on and so forth, basically until you're dead.

Nope. Can't even get concerned about that.

I am a one-woman bastion in a sea of navel-contemplating/tantric awareness/find your true soul/come-and-renovate-my-house-as-a-spiritual-exercise dudes.


PS An update on the "universe-baiting" in my earlier post. 500 CASH BUCKS came our way courtesy of an ancient insurance claim this week. So maybe Neil Perry is onto something there.

Master of the Universe

So my friend MW told me that if I wanted "the universe" to give me stuff, I should write down what I want on a piece of paper.

This would, I thought, be contradicted by every teenage girl's diary*.

On the other hand, the universe hasn't coughed up much for me lately, so it's probably worth a go.

So I wrote:

Dear Universe,

Hi. Pretty neat set up you have here: trees, flowers etc.

If it's not too much trouble, could I "come into some money" when you get a spare minute?

My preference is for non-violent/death related money allocation (e.g. finding winning lottery ticket on footpath).

Oh, and let's see what we can do about the conservatives being ousted at the next election shall we, all of this race-baiting, global warming and skills shortage is bad for my complexion.

Love,

Gigglewick



I'll let you know how it goes.




* Sample entries of which might include "please make him like me!" etc. I don't know about anyone else, but that never worked for me.

I'm it

I have been tagged.

Spooky.

So here goes...

1.Three things that scare me

- Some one I love getting sick or dying
- Physical violence
- Electricity: specifically the potential to kill oneself with faulty domestic appliances

2. Three people that make me laugh
- Ross Noble (hint: if you wet your pants while wearing black wool, hardly anyone can tell)
- My sister
- Grizzlewick (aged 3) and his friends

3. Three things I hate the most
- Racking my brain to figure out what I hate the most
- People who can't concede a differing point of view
- Aggression/Aniseed

(still can't decide which one I hate more. If a sociopath aggressively tried to feed me aniseed while I was mulling something over it would be my worst nightmare)

4. Three things I don't understand
- Why my friend LT knows more about the trendy inner-city bars than I do, when she has been out of the country for over five years
- The astonishing ratings success of 'Border Security': I figure it's like Media Watch, everyone loves it until they're on it
- Circuit diagrams

5. Three things I'm doing right now
- Well, typing this for a start, but I'm sure that's a very old meme joke
- Absent-mindedly assessing the cleanliness of our new "home office"
- Wearing a t-shirt I got for free during the comedy festival

6. Three things I want to do before I die
- Go back to Florence and spend a goodly whack of time there (at least three months)
- Learn to play guitar more proficiently
- Live near the beach again

7. Three things I can do
- Use an impressive array of weasel words
- Construct several impressive desserts from memory (and, you know, flour and eggs and stuff, but no recipe book required)
- Make my friends snort beverages from their nostrils by telling jokes at inappropriate times

8. Three ways to describe my personality
- "A delightful blend of sarcasm and naivete"
- "Cheeky full-bodied neuroses with a hint of paranoia"
- Boring

9. Three things I can't do
- Watch the news without talking to* the television (too opinionated)
- 'Step' aerobics (too clumsy)
- Buy a puppy (not enough room)

* Sorry, I meant "yelling at"

10. Three things I think you should listen to
- 'Connection' by Elastica. When I heard it on the radio the other day I actually drove my car straight to the local music store to buy a copy of the album. They didn't have it.
- 'Turn and Run' by Neil Finn
- Greg Combet and Sharan Burrow (of course, they're two different things, unless you're John Howard, in which case they are a blubbering, jelly-like violent mass known as THE UNION MOVEMENT)

11. Three things you should never listen to
- The musical stylings of David Hasselhoff
- Talkback radio (if you value your radio)
- Kyle Sandilands

12. Three things I'd like to learn
- Better French (speaking, not kissing): there are only so many conversations to which "where is the toilet" is a useful contribution
- Some kind of coordinated dance moves
- How to sew my own clothes. My friends MW and Buddy do this to great effect. My idea of sewing is stapling.

13. Three favourite foods
- Guacamole...home made, naturellement (ooh la la.... those French lessons are working already)
- Lemon Meringue pie
- Beef rendang

14. Three beverages I drink regularly
- water
- coffee (cappucino by preference)
- sauvignon blanc, much to the disgust of more refined wine-loving friends

15. Three shows I watched as a kid
- The Young Ones
- The Henderson Kids...(semi) interesting fact: when I changed schools in Grade Five I was known, rather uncharitably I thought, as 'Miranda'
- Secret Valley (mystery solving AND horses...I couldn't get enough of that nonsense)

16. Three people I'm tagging
What is this, some kind of sheep muster? WAAAHHHH I don't know anyone on the interweb.



Hmmm. Not bad, but not great.