Master of the Universe
So my friend MW told me that if I wanted "the universe" to give me stuff, I should write down what I want on a piece of paper.
This would, I thought, be contradicted by every teenage girl's diary*.
On the other hand, the universe hasn't coughed up much for me lately, so it's probably worth a go.
So I wrote:
Dear Universe,
Hi. Pretty neat set up you have here: trees, flowers etc.
If it's not too much trouble, could I "come into some money" when you get a spare minute?
My preference is for non-violent/death related money allocation (e.g. finding winning lottery ticket on footpath).
Oh, and let's see what we can do about the conservatives being ousted at the next election shall we, all of this race-baiting, global warming and skills shortage is bad for my complexion.
Love,
Gigglewick
I'll let you know how it goes.
* Sample entries of which might include "pleasemake him like me!" etc. I don't know about anyone else, but that never worked for me.
This would, I thought, be contradicted by every teenage girl's diary*.
On the other hand, the universe hasn't coughed up much for me lately, so it's probably worth a go.
So I wrote:
Dear Universe,
Hi. Pretty neat set up you have here: trees, flowers etc.
If it's not too much trouble, could I "come into some money" when you get a spare minute?
My preference is for non-violent/death related money allocation (e.g. finding winning lottery ticket on footpath).
Oh, and let's see what we can do about the conservatives being ousted at the next election shall we, all of this race-baiting, global warming and skills shortage is bad for my complexion.
Love,
Gigglewick
I'll let you know how it goes.
* Sample entries of which might include "please
posted by gigglewick at
10:40 pm
5 Comments:
I don't think you need to have so many doubts about such things; surely it works wonderfully. Apparently, that's all Casey Donovan had to do. Think of Neil Perry, Teri Hatcher, Adam Yze… All they had to do was to write to the universe and suddenly the universe answered with fame and success. Surely there was no other way they got their fame and success.
Perhaps, though, that's the secret. Maybe the universe only answers demands of the ego and ignores your demands of skincare.
It's only a theory.
So, how's it going so far?
If this works and you win the lottery, do Harpo and I get a percentage for signing the petition, without which this post may not have appeared and may not have won it?
15% (each) seems reasonable
Yes. 15 per cent does seem reasonable.
But then, I've seen "Deal or No Deal", and all available evidence suggests that people go a bit feral when huge amounts of money are in the offing.
The consensus seems to be not positive: I have meantime suffered a "plagues of the earth upon you" style sore throat and headache combination yet to be made fashionable by Kate Moss.
I have been feeling just slightly unwell. Do you think the universe has decided to play silly buggers and give me 15% of your headache instead of a share of the cash.
If Harpo is also feeling a little unwell, i probably owe that dude an apology
I am feeling tip-top. That probably means I don't get my share of the cash either.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home