I'll tell you for the money, the simple life sure looks good
What's not to love about....
1. A display in one of the local antique dealers featuring the National vibrator*, a 1950s/60s vintage sex toy with a neato carry-case and groovy bakelite hand-held control. I suspect when Peter Costello implored us all to "have one for the country", this is not what he had in mind. Incidentally, I did a google search on this term, and was unable to find an image of it, disinterested as I was in surfing through acres of porn to find it. Of course, when people google it again and find my blog, they will be similarly disappointed.
2. The local graffiti. I walk past the local high school every morning (early) and the other day I paused as there was some new graffiti on the sign outside. In black texta, some enterprising soul has written (predictably) "[insert name of school here] SUX". Meh. That's what I'd expect. However, a couple of flat surfaces away, the same person has written
"MORRI IS GAY WITH DOGZ"
Clearly "U R GAY" is no longer considered adequately offensive in the world of teenage boys. Nearby, some one has also scratched "MULL" into the concrete while it was still wet. I can't really decry the youth of today for that one - could have been there for 15 years for all I know.
3. Colourful cuisine. You don't need to go all the way to another country to experience quaint spelling. I took my dear friend for a drive to another small town on Sunday and walked past a quasi-Chinese restaurant that was advertising
"PRAWN CRACKS" - $2.50
That's amazing. I wonder how they get the cracks out of the prawns? They must have some kind of crustacean gynaecologist on staff. I'm thinking, considering how small a prawn's crack must be and the difficulty in extracting one, that $2.50 is a bargain basement price to pay for such a delicacy.
4. More grammar fun: One of the local businesses is truly called "Just Poles and timber" Frankly, they should make up their minds. Either they're just poles, or they're not. This is similar to the hairdresser near Mr Fix's old mechanics, which claimed to "specialise in all aspects of hair". I would argue that if you cover all aspects, you can't really specialise. Surely that's what the delightful phrase, "jack of all trades, master of none" was designed to address?
On the other hand, another business is called "JF McDoofus' & Onions" so I guess anything is possible.
Also: I love it that this is a google-based product and the spell-checker doesn't recognise google as a word.
* That's National the brand, not "national" in a Hugo Chavez-type way.
1. A display in one of the local antique dealers featuring the National vibrator*, a 1950s/60s vintage sex toy with a neato carry-case and groovy bakelite hand-held control. I suspect when Peter Costello implored us all to "have one for the country", this is not what he had in mind. Incidentally, I did a google search on this term, and was unable to find an image of it, disinterested as I was in surfing through acres of porn to find it. Of course, when people google it again and find my blog, they will be similarly disappointed.
2. The local graffiti. I walk past the local high school every morning (early) and the other day I paused as there was some new graffiti on the sign outside. In black texta, some enterprising soul has written (predictably) "[insert name of school here] SUX". Meh. That's what I'd expect. However, a couple of flat surfaces away, the same person has written
"MORRI IS GAY WITH DOGZ"
Clearly "U R GAY" is no longer considered adequately offensive in the world of teenage boys. Nearby, some one has also scratched "MULL" into the concrete while it was still wet. I can't really decry the youth of today for that one - could have been there for 15 years for all I know.
3. Colourful cuisine. You don't need to go all the way to another country to experience quaint spelling. I took my dear friend for a drive to another small town on Sunday and walked past a quasi-Chinese restaurant that was advertising
"PRAWN CRACKS" - $2.50
That's amazing. I wonder how they get the cracks out of the prawns? They must have some kind of crustacean gynaecologist on staff. I'm thinking, considering how small a prawn's crack must be and the difficulty in extracting one, that $2.50 is a bargain basement price to pay for such a delicacy.
4. More grammar fun: One of the local businesses is truly called "Just Poles and timber" Frankly, they should make up their minds. Either they're just poles, or they're not. This is similar to the hairdresser near Mr Fix's old mechanics, which claimed to "specialise in all aspects of hair". I would argue that if you cover all aspects, you can't really specialise. Surely that's what the delightful phrase, "jack of all trades, master of none" was designed to address?
On the other hand, another business is called "JF McDoofus' & Onions" so I guess anything is possible.
Also: I love it that this is a google-based product and the spell-checker doesn't recognise google as a word.
* That's National the brand, not "national" in a Hugo Chavez-type way.
posted by gigglewick at
7:19 pm
6 Comments:
Oh you are a delight!
And, I meant to say earlier but my fingers are a bit clicky happy tonight - whenever I read the title of your blog, my instant thought is: "Yes goddamnit, you do have to as I want with the funnies more (etc rambly thinking words go here)"
*clap clap*
Ha! That's ALL gold! If I open a business, I think I'll call it Meva McIdiot & Carrots.
(PS: I put how to upload a pic to your profile back in my comments.)
Sharpatootha,
thank you.
Meva,
Thankyou also - I think Meva McIdiot is an inspired name for a shop.
I will one day put a photo in my profile - one day.
When we were kids we used to pull the "shit tubes" out of yabbies... so i guess you could say I know a bit about prawn cracks.
Badoom-ch!
In that case Aussie rock chick, there is a job for you in the regional Victoria hospitality industry.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home