I Remember (there ain't a lot of love...in paradise)
A couple of weeks ago I had a friendly conversation with a guy behind the bar at one of the local bottleshops about one of the other local pubs being ripped down to be converted into some kind of luxury apartments. I had practically elbowed grannies out of the way to see the front cover of the local paper and ascertain this information. Looking on in a bemused manner, the guy nodded at the paper, prompting the following exchange as I paid for my wine:
Me: Wow – that’s a big change. I wonder what people think about that?
Him: Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of great bands there over the years.
Me: Yeah, me too. I saw the Badloves there in, hmmm, 1993?
Him: Oh. That WAS a while ago. Here is your change, madam.
He called me madam. This leads me to believe that he thinks one of the following of me:
1. I am a brothel owner in style of Blackie O'Reilly
2. I am irretrievably old
I was tempted to yell "I WAS UNDERAGE YOU DOOFUS" but then I realised that using the word doofus puts me in an age category beyond the one I'm actually in.
So I slunk out of there with the bottle under my arm, pausing only to hit the skateboarder in the doorway with my cane and decry the existence of "those meddling kids", new-fangled technology and pop-tarts.
Me: Wow – that’s a big change. I wonder what people think about that?
Him: Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of great bands there over the years.
Me: Yeah, me too. I saw the Badloves there in, hmmm, 1993?
Him: Oh. That WAS a while ago. Here is your change, madam.
He called me madam. This leads me to believe that he thinks one of the following of me:
1. I am a brothel owner in style of Blackie O'Reilly
2. I am irretrievably old
I was tempted to yell "I WAS UNDERAGE YOU DOOFUS" but then I realised that using the word doofus puts me in an age category beyond the one I'm actually in.
So I slunk out of there with the bottle under my arm, pausing only to hit the skateboarder in the doorway with my cane and decry the existence of "those meddling kids", new-fangled technology and pop-tarts.
posted by gigglewick at
7:00 pm
5 Comments:
Welcome to MY world.
When the Nigerian 419 scammers call me on my skype in line, as they often do as I am baiting them, they will generally call me madam. It is polite in their society. If I am in a good mood (or I want to keep them on the hook for longer) I let it slide. Then there are times I do not. Warning, this audio contains language. ;)
http://tinyurl.com/yrmaaa
I think perhaps that might have been the reaction you were wanting to provide? ;)
I'm older than you.
Stop it.
30 is the new 20. You do know that don't you? Canes are so in right now. Revel in it.
Chai,
Are you suggesting that all Mr Fix and I need do is inhabit a spooky mansion and in fact we woud be the lead characters in Scooby Doo?
Snoskred,
Computer speakers aren't working, but suspect that yes, that is the reaction I was looking for.
INCraig,
Stop what? I just tells it like I sees it, baby.
Harpo,
Good to know. In fact there is a "walking stick demonstration" on here in February, but I think they mean those ski-pole style things rather than aids to mobility in an everyday sense.
Nice to see none of you thought he might have mistaken my smudged eyeshadow and bawdy dress as the hallmarks of the sex industry.
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