Leaked internal poll reveals incredulity by locals: "Dude WTF!?!" says area man
Yesterday I ran into an old friend I hadn’t seen face-to-face since my wedding. He (now dubbed “Zippy” for the purposes of this blog) is ace and lovely, and it was really good to see him – not least because he also brought me up to speed with the back-stories of several other locals. Among other things, I noted that surely his younger brother was only 13 years old and therefore much too young to have his engagement announced in the local paper*.
He gave me a fridge magnet with his name and phone number on it. That was a little bit weird I thought. It’s not like he works for the dob-in-a-terrorist/water-waster hotline. But he is a (small) business man**. Makes me wonder if, when I get my own business cards, if in fact they should be in magnet form. Whatever the case, Grizzlewick thought it was awesome and clutched it all the way home before sticking it proudly on the fridge. He is also convinced that it has his name on it, despite the fact that the words “Zippy” and “Grizzlewick” bear no resemblance to each other.
I’m keeping a poll though – Zippy added another voice to the chorus of “what the hell are you doing back here”. There seems to be a clear view (multi-person focus group amongst my school mates - perhaps even advertised in the local paper) that I am somehow mental for moving back to the area. Hmm. Maybe they know something about me that I don’t. MAYBE there is a new council by-law prohibiting my return.
Either way, I'm off to the beach tonight and don't try to stop me.
* Actually his brother is in his mid-20s. This was very concerning to me.
** You have no idea how long it took me to settle on a way of punctuating a phrase that includes the words “small” “business” and “man”. Much longer than is necessary. Grammar police, phone in now!
He gave me a fridge magnet with his name and phone number on it. That was a little bit weird I thought. It’s not like he works for the dob-in-a-terrorist/water-waster hotline. But he is a (small) business man**. Makes me wonder if, when I get my own business cards, if in fact they should be in magnet form. Whatever the case, Grizzlewick thought it was awesome and clutched it all the way home before sticking it proudly on the fridge. He is also convinced that it has his name on it, despite the fact that the words “Zippy” and “Grizzlewick” bear no resemblance to each other.
I’m keeping a poll though – Zippy added another voice to the chorus of “what the hell are you doing back here”. There seems to be a clear view (multi-person focus group amongst my school mates - perhaps even advertised in the local paper) that I am somehow mental for moving back to the area. Hmm. Maybe they know something about me that I don’t. MAYBE there is a new council by-law prohibiting my return.
Either way, I'm off to the beach tonight and don't try to stop me.
* Actually his brother is in his mid-20s. This was very concerning to me.
** You have no idea how long it took me to settle on a way of punctuating a phrase that includes the words “small” “business” and “man”. Much longer than is necessary. Grammar police, phone in now!
posted by gigglewick at
1:39 pm
6 Comments:
Why does that phrase need punctuation at all? "Dude WTF" says not local any more man
Yes, you MUST get fridge magnets instead of business cards! ;)
Sounds like Grizzlewick will be quite the magnet collector. It's not a bad hobby and often doesn't cost much because if you keep your eyes open, there are free magnets with advertising on them all over the place. Especially at shows and stuff. Like the boat show, the motor show, the caravan and camping show.. well you might not get so many of those in the country.
Let me have a look at how many we have collected since we have been here. The mower man, the electrician, the pest controller, the vet, the removalist who brought us here, and several real estate ones. 5 in a year? Terrible, I need to step up the effort. However I think my mother is part of the problem because I put them on her fridge and she throws them away whenever given the chance. I'm sure I had double that amount on her fridge. Often they turn up in your letterbox with no effort on your part at all.
And then you have the ones that aren't free but you pay for them anyway. I even have some Vic ones on my fridge, several from Melbourne zoo, the giant koala. Then I have shedloads from other locations. Airlines, zoos, ones with pretty pictures, ones from family and friends, and a bunch from Adelaide with telephone numbers now of no use to me. ;) ones from the magic cave from several years ago, a big santa and lizards and strange things. And my favourites, the sparkly ones, the butterflies, the clown with sequins..
I did not set out to collect them, it happened. I think its the other half's fault.
Royston Vasey. You make it sound like you've moved back to Royston Vasey. And fridge magnet business cards are cool. I'm always scared to put them in my wallet though, in case it zaps my credit cards and/or watch/mobile phone etc....
INCraig,
The variations I considered were:
small-businessman
small business-man
small-business man
I don't know - John Howard's Australia is making me confused.
Snoskred,
I know. I still have magnets from chinese take-away joints that gave me MSG poisoning. And what we don't have in boating and caravan shows (although we have those too) we more than make up for in Field Days.
Chai,
There is less cross-dressing here than in Royston Vasey. I did try to convince one of my friends that some men should wear tunic-dresses instead of the tight lycra gear when riding their bikes, but suspect that, like her, you would believe this to be a bad idea?
I am open to alternative ideas.
Promises, promises.
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