Pardon me boys, is that the Chattanooga choo choo?
No. No, it isn't.
When I was in Melbourne on Friday I spent 45 minutes stuffing around at Southern Cross train station, waiting for my train and idly browsing, cursing the fact that I had spent $6 on a sandwich when there was Nandos hidden behind some kind of magic Labyrinth style door.
So there I was flicking disconsolately through the racks of $10 CDs (now aimed at Gen X-ers!!! Nirvana for $9.95!!! etc) when I spied my 12 year old cousin skulking about with two other boys. He spotted me a moment after I saw him, and promptly fled.
The consensus among the people I have told this story so far seems to be “DOB! DOB! DOB!” (boy-scout style). I’m not sure.
Normally, I would suggest that the bond of cousins would mean you don’t dob.
But this kid is TWELVE! What the hell was he doing five suburbs away from his school on a Friday at one o’clock?
Consider the evidence:
1. He wasn't with any adults - obvs. guilty
2. He ran away - obvs. guilty
Consider the other options:
1. Curriculum Day on which both his divorced parents gave him permission to bang around city with other young boys
2. Curriculum Day on which ONE parent (the permissive one) gave him permisison to bang around city with other young boys prompting screaming match and allegations of mega-bad parenthood
3. School assignment: wander aimlessly around Southern Cross station in order to test the loitering laws and efficacy of the local gendarmes.
Hmmm. Perhaps I'll have to save this little tid-bit of information for the next family gathering. I'm thinking Christmas.....
When I was in Melbourne on Friday I spent 45 minutes stuffing around at Southern Cross train station, waiting for my train and idly browsing, cursing the fact that I had spent $6 on a sandwich when there was Nandos hidden behind some kind of magic Labyrinth style door.
So there I was flicking disconsolately through the racks of $10 CDs (now aimed at Gen X-ers!!! Nirvana for $9.95!!! etc) when I spied my 12 year old cousin skulking about with two other boys. He spotted me a moment after I saw him, and promptly fled.
The consensus among the people I have told this story so far seems to be “DOB! DOB! DOB!” (boy-scout style). I’m not sure.
Normally, I would suggest that the bond of cousins would mean you don’t dob.
But this kid is TWELVE! What the hell was he doing five suburbs away from his school on a Friday at one o’clock?
Consider the evidence:
1. He wasn't with any adults - obvs. guilty
2. He ran away - obvs. guilty
Consider the other options:
1. Curriculum Day on which both his divorced parents gave him permission to bang around city with other young boys
2. Curriculum Day on which ONE parent (the permissive one) gave him permisison to bang around city with other young boys prompting screaming match and allegations of mega-bad parenthood
3. School assignment: wander aimlessly around Southern Cross station in order to test the loitering laws and efficacy of the local gendarmes.
Hmmm. Perhaps I'll have to save this little tid-bit of information for the next family gathering. I'm thinking Christmas.....
posted by gigglewick at
9:56 pm
10 Comments:
I remember one of my older brothers springing me and a friend when we wagged school and went to the city one day. He held it over me for years. The problem was that we wagged but actually had no money and nothing to do - we ended up doing one of those free scientology personality tests. School would have been more fun. Lesson learned.
But as for your cousin, he was obviously wagging or he wouldn't have bolted. Don't dob - he will be feeling guilty already.
You now have a mighty bargaining chip until your cousin turns about 25.
Use it wisely.
Use it well.
He ran away? Guilty - definitely guilty.
PS: You should have gone into DFO with 45 mins to spare!
There's also the other option:
3. YOU are an adult. Adults are embarassing. SO he ran away. Not Guilty of anything other than natural 12 year old boyness.
But it's true that you now hold a deep and lasting power over the boy. And always remember that with great power comes great responsibility (or somesuch). Take from that what you will!
Oh what fun. I'd tell on him but that is because I suffered from old people telling on me all the time when I was young. Mostly because I was talking to boys or sitting down in public neither of which was allowed while wearing my school uniform.
You're thinking Christmas, I'm thinking blackmail.
Dudes,
I think the dobbing moment has passed.
I like how you all thought I was enough of a horror wench to run and tell on him though.
PS Actonb I'm not THAT embarrassing
* hitches stockings *
I'm with the not-dobbing crew. And grown-ups are too embarrassing! Look at Madonna! Look at Peter Andre!
Meva,
Are you saying I have a waxed chest and partner with enormous cleavage?
Or are you saying I'm like Peter Andre?
There is only room in this world for one Peter Andre, GW.
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