The Ipodfather
Just when you think that Federal politics couldn't get any more obscure, Mick Keelty appears before a parliamentary inquiry.
His dire warning that part-human/part-robot criminals are the major crime threat to our future is a VERY SERIOUS THING and must be dealt with in a hasty manner. Ads for Liberal Party blaming Kevin Rudd for this are due out next week.
My friend Dave used to say that in the future the government would put bar codes on the back of all our heads, and poor people would starve to death because the automatic doors in supermarkets would be programmed so they couldn't get in*. Which is going to make it hard to get my trolley through.
I think Howard and Abbott are missing an opportunity here to use as-yet banned cloning technology to our best advantage. WorkChoices could be a cinch if we could develop the following:
1. Public service office-cleaners with dustbuster instead of left hand
2. Waiting staff with palm-pilot grafted to wrist and antenna placed in cranium to beam orders back to kitchen
3. Nurses who can wrap one of their arms around you to take your blood pressure
4. Maritime workers with inbuilt air-bags for over-board emergencies
5. Bartenders with bamix attachments instead of fingers
6. Firefighters with telescopic legs for rescuing cats from trees
See, this is why cloning is crucial to our country. It's only with these capabilities we can hope to keep our productivity pumping.
* Please don't write in with the flaws in this theory. It was a very amusing drunken anecdote, and for that reason the fact that you can drive a truck through the logic is best ignored.
His dire warning that part-human/part-robot criminals are the major crime threat to our future is a VERY SERIOUS THING and must be dealt with in a hasty manner. Ads for Liberal Party blaming Kevin Rudd for this are due out next week.
My friend Dave used to say that in the future the government would put bar codes on the back of all our heads, and poor people would starve to death because the automatic doors in supermarkets would be programmed so they couldn't get in*. Which is going to make it hard to get my trolley through.
I think Howard and Abbott are missing an opportunity here to use as-yet banned cloning technology to our best advantage. WorkChoices could be a cinch if we could develop the following:
1. Public service office-cleaners with dustbuster instead of left hand
2. Waiting staff with palm-pilot grafted to wrist and antenna placed in cranium to beam orders back to kitchen
3. Nurses who can wrap one of their arms around you to take your blood pressure
4. Maritime workers with inbuilt air-bags for over-board emergencies
5. Bartenders with bamix attachments instead of fingers
6. Firefighters with telescopic legs for rescuing cats from trees
See, this is why cloning is crucial to our country. It's only with these capabilities we can hope to keep our productivity pumping.
* Please don't write in with the flaws in this theory. It was a very amusing drunken anecdote, and for that reason the fact that you can drive a truck through the logic is best ignored.
posted by gigglewick at
5:54 pm
5 Comments:
You don't want my opinion of Mick Keelty. It might bring your lovely blog to the attention of the appropriate Authorities.
But I did prefer the mo.
I don't recognise him without it, I must say.
Goodness MsB are we stalking each other all over the internet right now?
Erm, I'm a little worried. Doesn't Mick realise that the most serious threat to our freedom at the moment is zombies?! C'mon, man - it's all about zombies!
* eyes redcap's cranium in lascivious manner*
Gah! Zombies! ~makes sign of the cross, runs and hides in cupboard~
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home