Vibrations in the air
Friday ramblings:
Can't think of anything funny to say. So get ready for a self-indulgent piece of pap which you are more than welcome to disregard to serve your own sanity.
More pissed off with work than I realised. I had a meeting the other day where I had put a lot of time into building partnerships at a local level to achieve something that one of our clients wanted. And then the client used an open meeting of my superiors to undermine me, because things had not gone the way he wanted them to (although all the other stakeholders' needs had been met). It was outside the scope of my influence to take HIM to task on it in the meeting, because I am a worker and not a Committee Member. And now I am cross.
I'm having a crisis of relevance. I have been doing some volunteer work this week and have struggled to find things to do that actually make a contribution. I have an ongoing that any contribution I might make is unwanted and irrelevant or, at worst, interfering, and find myself biting back suggestions because I'm worried they're stupid.
If I was ever a "cold-hearted career bitch", I've now officially lost it. I had a horrible feeling when I was leaving my new home-town yesterday that I was homesick before I had even left. And it felt shit. And I felt hollow and awful for leaving Grizzlewick and Mr Fix, even though I was only going to be away for 36 hours. That's never been a problem before. I don't know what's changed.
Hands up who is exhausted. I am so, so tired. Going to Melbourne now requires a "get up at ridiculous-o'clock" time-line that I can apparently no longer handle. I have watched other people hit the wall before, indeed I have done it myself. But I hit the wall today in a way that beggars belief because it was completely unexpected. I could technically have burst into tears when the bread-bag clip flicked behind a shelf at my friend's house, never to be seen again. But it was the stupid coffee house that did me in - I went to open the door pushing it with my usual strength and it slammed so hard I thought the glass would shatter. This frightened me so badly I ended up sobbing in the toilets, the whole bit. What a gimp.
All of these things could be PMT. Just saying.
Can't think of anything funny to say. So get ready for a self-indulgent piece of pap which you are more than welcome to disregard to serve your own sanity.
More pissed off with work than I realised. I had a meeting the other day where I had put a lot of time into building partnerships at a local level to achieve something that one of our clients wanted. And then the client used an open meeting of my superiors to undermine me, because things had not gone the way he wanted them to (although all the other stakeholders' needs had been met). It was outside the scope of my influence to take HIM to task on it in the meeting, because I am a worker and not a Committee Member. And now I am cross.
I'm having a crisis of relevance. I have been doing some volunteer work this week and have struggled to find things to do that actually make a contribution. I have an ongoing that any contribution I might make is unwanted and irrelevant or, at worst, interfering, and find myself biting back suggestions because I'm worried they're stupid.
If I was ever a "cold-hearted career bitch", I've now officially lost it. I had a horrible feeling when I was leaving my new home-town yesterday that I was homesick before I had even left. And it felt shit. And I felt hollow and awful for leaving Grizzlewick and Mr Fix, even though I was only going to be away for 36 hours. That's never been a problem before. I don't know what's changed.
Hands up who is exhausted. I am so, so tired. Going to Melbourne now requires a "get up at ridiculous-o'clock" time-line that I can apparently no longer handle. I have watched other people hit the wall before, indeed I have done it myself. But I hit the wall today in a way that beggars belief because it was completely unexpected. I could technically have burst into tears when the bread-bag clip flicked behind a shelf at my friend's house, never to be seen again. But it was the stupid coffee house that did me in - I went to open the door pushing it with my usual strength and it slammed so hard I thought the glass would shatter. This frightened me so badly I ended up sobbing in the toilets, the whole bit. What a gimp.
All of these things could be PMT. Just saying.
posted by gigglewick at
11:24 am
6 Comments:
I can spot my own PMT by tears for no good reason. But it sounds like it might be more than that.
You sound all-out freakin' stressed to me. See what you can cut back on and give yourself some tender lovin' care GW.
I've been there before and have been scared I will just suddenly snap in public and scream loud and long (and obscenely) at a total stranger who's done something as insignificant as look at me...
So take it easy to avoid such as this, although, it could bring back your 'cold-hearted bitch' merits.
;)
Hmm, is my comment 'unwanted and irrelevant or... interfering'? Feel free to tell me to f*ck off if it is... plus, it might make you feel better! :)
1) Rent 'Network' on DVD
2) Have a long bath and a glass of wine
3) Do not be afraid to call people #$%@s when necessary
4) The Science of Happiness by Stefan Klein has a few tips that seem to work (its more scientific than self help nonsense)
5) You are not the only person to get fucked over by self centered &$^%s
6) Listen to Running the World by Jarvis Cocker (its on YouTube)
7) Remember what is important
A drive-by comment during a lull in the party-prep-frenzy.
Thinking of you Miss GW.
And I always know my PMT when I drop things.
I hear you on the exhaustion thing. I, of course, know nothing about PMT, but I doubt that you feel this way every month so I'm guessing it's not just that.
Sounds to me like you need a break. I think we need to organise bloggers and families camping trip. At some point in the trip, you should use your dread of being savaged by a Dox as a reason to disappear of to the pub with Honeybear. Mr Fix and I will use the time to teach the boys useful skills like fishing/pitching tents/playing with fire.
If you're in, let me know so I can, you know, buy a tent or something.
Eleanor,
I've just trumped myself by developing a whole bunch of stupid stupid pimples all over my chin too. Freakin' womanhood.
Anon,
I'm surprised how often "rent Network" is advice given to people when they're feeling overwhelmed/exhausted. I have to wonder if I know you....
Actonb,
More interested in party than own selfish crap.
INCraig,
have you been outside lately? There is NO WAY I am getting in a tent right now. NO WAY. On the other hand, ask us again when the weather improves...
Thanks everyone. Feeling a bit better after purchasing first series of Twin Peaks on DVD and having a mellow yet delightful time with some new friends on Saturday night. And don't think that won't be a blog post.
Lock the doors, unplug the phone, draw the curtains, take a "me" day. Heck, take a couple.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home