Get your motor runnin'/Get out on the highway

Dearest of the dudes,

I know you’ve been missing me*. But I have been negotiating the wilds of country New South Wales, relocating myself and my family to Wagga (or just south thereof) for a 60th birthday party for my mother-in-law.

Trip highlights

Country tranquillity

One might have thought that I’d had my share of this in my recent relocation. Apparently one would be wrong. There were kangaroos hopping past the verandah, an awesome collie/samoid cross dog belonging to my MiL, and long country walks up and down hills. In addition, there is something to be said for new partners of MiLs trying very hard to impress their children/children’s family – we were the recipients of much hand-and-foot style waiting that I very much appreciated.

Copious quantities of high-quality food and wine

There is a social committee which apparently organizes all events held at my MiL’s partner’s house**. They prepared a sit-down meal with two kinds of roast meat, several sauces, roast potatoes, cheese platters and three different cakes and assorted petit fours for her birthday lunch. Cop that.

As well as all this ace food (and cooked breakfasts which I didn’t have to prepare three days in a row) there was copious and varied wine consumption which commenced at midday each day and continued well into the night.

I am so having my next party there.

The Albury by-pass

If you have ever lived in Albury for a prolonged period of time (as Mr Fix has) you will find the Albury by-pass the most spectacular urban development in the history of the world. So predictable was Mr Fix’s response to it (he promptly phoned friends from high school to express wonderment at it) that when his sisters were driving through Albury an hour later, the following exchange occurred:

Sister 1: Wow! This bypass is amazing! Check out how different it is! It's really cool, isn't it?!

Sister 2: Snort! Good on you, Mr Fix.

Sister 1: OMG that really was exactly what he would say, wasn’t it?

Sister 2: Yes. Yes, it was.

I liked it because it meant that when we got to Albury the by-pass dropped us off right outside Dan Murphy’s, before spitting us back onto the “ring-esque” road moments later with a boot heaving with high-quality wine.

Trip lowlights

Grizzlewick = fully sick

Grizzlewick woke on Monday morning and proceeded to vom all over my bed, and then all over his own. AND HE WASN'T EVEN HUNG OVER. Having recovered from this, a short time later he consumed six pieces of toast, two bananas and four weet-bix. All of this was against my better judgement, and precipitated a wait in Wodonga for two hours to ensure that he wasn’t going to spew all the way home. Ah, the joys of parenthood.

Grimacing through the types of views I have sought to avoid my entire life, my WHOLE LIFE

There’s really only so long you can listen to:

1. Your partner’s aunt bitching about how much she hates her son-in-law
2. Statements like “that’s something women do, isn’t it?”
3. Anything which begins: “Well, it’s all this PC*** nonsense these days, no one can say what they really mean anymore....”
4. Lewd jokes about the sex lives of people you have only just met

Eight and a half hours in the car, each way

Some people would find this fun. I am not one of those people. I do now have an in-depth appreciation of truck-stop dining, and not nearly enough caffeine in my system.

Sadly for me, the weekend wasn't the cornucopia of blogging fodder I had hoped. There was enormous potential, as one of Mr Fix's relatives really hates me, but sadly even she was on her best behaviour. Oh well. Better luck next time....


* If not, just pretend.

** No, she is not dating John Howard.

*** This, surprisingly enough, does not refer to personal computers.