Sweet memes are made of this

So Bevis tagged me. Luckily the "ten things I hate about other people" topic is one I can readily embrace. Or so I thought, until I sat down to write this post, when it became much harder than I expected....

1. Anyone who starts a sentence "I'm not a racist/sexist/unreconstructed pig, but..." or uses "some of my best friends are (insert minority here) as an excuse for minority bashing. Similar hates include the use of phrases like "gay boys love me"*, "I'm a hit with all the ladies", and "....just like a woman"** (e.g. "this Ikea furniture is horribly confusing....just like a woman").

2. People who think that horrendous bumper stickers are an acceptable car "enhancement". Now, I'll admit that it's possible that those dudes with bumper stickers reading "I like lipstick on my dipstick" and "pussy hunter" might indeed be feminist scholars with a deep love of irony. But I doubt it.

3. John Howard's use of the phrase "What people have to understand is....". No, screw you, John. I'm not five years old. I understand perfectly well, I just don't agree with you. That's my democratic right, last time I checked. I realise that this isn't a generalised foible as such, but I'm willing to complain about it anyway.

4. Dudes who spit on the footpath. Ew. No, really. Ew. How often do you see women expectorating on Collins Street? Never. So why is it cool for blokes? I refuse to believe that men are really that much more phlegmy than women, and if they are, for crying out loud carry a hanky. Seriously. It's disgusting.

5. People who treat their staff like crap, while swanning around like minor celebrities. At one of the coffee joints I frequent, there is an utterly charming worker who makes my coffee most mornings. However, due to the fact that they have recently had a lot of positive publicity, there is often a "run" on at critical times of the day (e.g. 8:55am). Their coffee machine is big enough for two people to work on it. The other day, one of my friends saw the owner get up from gas-bagging to some regulars (more than I have seen him do when there is anyone else to do the work), make a coffee for himself and for them and sit back down, totally ignoring the 8-deep queue who had ordered coffee ahead of his mates.

6. People who know what to say when something bad happens. I'm glad to have them around, but frankly this always makes me feel inadequate. It usually takes me four to five minutes to stammer out something that sounds half-way supportive and I'm really not a giver of unsolicited hugs to people I barely know. I have never been comfortable with the random comfort factor, and it is probably my biggest lack of skill as a friend and/or colleague.

7. People who claim the moral high ground. If there is one thing I have learnt in my life, it's that there IS NO MORAL HIGH GROUND. There are just differing opinions. The phrase "following my conscience" is almost always used as a dog-whistle for "at least I have one, unlike Festy McPhee over there".

8. People who dominate a group discussion with no recognition whatsoever that other people might like to contribute. I was lucky enough to go some actually useful workplace training the other day. I was chuffed that finally I had managed to pick a winner. It would have been fine, if not for the guy from another organisation talking over me three times before he realised I had been trying to get a word in. The fourth time he began to start a new point, he turned to me, said, "sorry," and then continued on his merry way with an anecdote which didn't even relate to the issue at hand. I guess I could have lived with that, if not for the fact that he talked over EVERYONE.

9. People who start out with a strong point and cave the minute they are challenged. A guy I work with started out in a very aggressive way about a particular piece of workplace training. When I mentioned that I knew the trainer, he back-pedalled. This is not particularly notable (no one wants to be bitching about some one's friend to their face, well, unless you are Emma from Big Brother) except that I haven't ever been to training run by this particular person. So what I actually needed to know was this guy's real opinion, not what he thought I wanted to hear. I know a couple of people who seem to inspire strong opinions, and it doesn't particularly bother me to hear alternative views to mine, in fact a lot of the time it is frankly amusing. The courage of convictions is something I hold very dear, and the poorly judged back pedal just gives me the irrits.

10. People wearing 80s fashions with no sense of irony. I think I may have bitched about this before. But after seeing a couple of Logies spreads, I think it needs re-stating. For crying out loud people, they're RA RA SKIRTS.

Phew. Thanks, Bevis, I clearly needed to vent.

Tagging Redcap, Chesty Larue and Actonb.

Tomorrow we return to regularly scheduled programming.



* I have had no less than four different women tell me this. I don't care if it's true, it's crass.

** One of Mr Fix's former work colleagues used to do this. His extreme youth and height is the only thing that stopped me stomping him.