Started howling/made no sense
I am, as some have observed, “keen as mustard”. I am an avid joiner and doer (despite how it may seem here, where I spend the rest of my time hanging it on other people).
One of the dangers of being a doer, however, is that you end up a teensy bit over-extended, or else at home kicking yourself senseless for the kinds of things you have agreed to do (with sample script: “I can’t believe I agreed to paint blackboards/participate in market research/door-knock/sell raffle tickets/bungee jump/etc”).
It would be good if some one could stop me from doing some of the things outlined below. A well-timed warning would be heartily appreciated.
Things that seem like a stupid idea to everyone except the person doing them
1. Buying five acres
I know I am not a farmer. I know it. And five acres is too big to mow and too small to indulge in any Clancy of the Overflow/early 1980s Sigrid Thornton style fantasies I might have. Also five acres pretty much ensures you’re not living “in town”, and where the hell will I get my “chinos” (the drink, not the pants).
2. Half-marathons
One of the things that’s happened since I moved (and it is now more than three months – where did the time go, etc) is that I fancy myself* much fitter. Now, that’s as may be, but I suspect that my ability to complete aforementioned half-marathon would be slim to non-existent. Some one please stop me.
3. Atrocious performances at open mic nights
Oh ho ho. As I am currently trying to teach myself to play the kinds of songs only idiots teach themselves on acoustic guitar**, I sometimes idly toy with the idea of public performance. This may require more of the talking down that previous two options, as it might well be fuelled by alcohol and costs me nothing except a bucket of sweat, embarrassment and several days of a panic-stricken digestive system.
(Seemingly stupid) things I want to do for which no opposition will be brooked
1. Start a local/regular event in arts/culture field
I have this all planned out – just need a venue. Mr Fix is somewhat sceptical, but he will be won over by my infinite charm/shrewd business planning. Best I can tell, it doesn’t even need funding from external sources. Oh, but it does need punters I suppose.
2. Have a vegie garden of reasonable size/variety
It’s fair to say that this isn’t going well – all my carrot seedlings were zapped by the last hot day we had. What’s more, the cats keep digging up my freshly raked/planted garden beds – and then they like to clamber over Mr Fix*** while he sleeps, leaving muddy little tracks all over the white sheets. Am not a housewife/refuse to fix. At least my basil plants are living well in the kitchen window. Have been spurred on to ever greater aspirations by my mother’s ace tomatoes which have been turned into several months worth of passata. She is quite the green thumb. Where her thumb is “woodlands”, mine’s probably more a neon highlighter shade of green.
3. Travel overseas with a small child
Grizzlewick doesn’t know it yet, but he and Mr Fix are accompanying me on an overseas holiday. Probably Vietnam I think at this stage, although there is the distinct possibility If not the distinct bank account) to suggest that Europe may be a possibility depending on my sister’s movements. I want to do some more overseas travel, and I’d like to do it before Grizzlewick starts school in a few short years. I have been told this is ill-advised. Frankly, I don’t care.
* More than usual.
** For reference: idiots like to teach themselves things in 3/4 time, requiring 15 capos**** and the manual dexterity of an octopus/orangutan hybrid only made possible by recent changes to stem-cell research legislation (if Tony Abbott is to be believed).
*** If you’re wondering where I am at this point, I am generally up and about making coffee/exercising/cursing 774
**** I realise there are NO songs that require 15 capos – although if Gillette made guitars this would probably be the case.
One of the dangers of being a doer, however, is that you end up a teensy bit over-extended, or else at home kicking yourself senseless for the kinds of things you have agreed to do (with sample script: “I can’t believe I agreed to paint blackboards/participate in market research/door-knock/sell raffle tickets/bungee jump/etc”).
It would be good if some one could stop me from doing some of the things outlined below. A well-timed warning would be heartily appreciated.
Things that seem like a stupid idea to everyone except the person doing them
1. Buying five acres
I know I am not a farmer. I know it. And five acres is too big to mow and too small to indulge in any Clancy of the Overflow/early 1980s Sigrid Thornton style fantasies I might have. Also five acres pretty much ensures you’re not living “in town”, and where the hell will I get my “chinos” (the drink, not the pants).
2. Half-marathons
One of the things that’s happened since I moved (and it is now more than three months – where did the time go, etc) is that I fancy myself* much fitter. Now, that’s as may be, but I suspect that my ability to complete aforementioned half-marathon would be slim to non-existent. Some one please stop me.
3. Atrocious performances at open mic nights
Oh ho ho. As I am currently trying to teach myself to play the kinds of songs only idiots teach themselves on acoustic guitar**, I sometimes idly toy with the idea of public performance. This may require more of the talking down that previous two options, as it might well be fuelled by alcohol and costs me nothing except a bucket of sweat, embarrassment and several days of a panic-stricken digestive system.
(Seemingly stupid) things I want to do for which no opposition will be brooked
1. Start a local/regular event in arts/culture field
I have this all planned out – just need a venue. Mr Fix is somewhat sceptical, but he will be won over by my infinite charm/shrewd business planning. Best I can tell, it doesn’t even need funding from external sources. Oh, but it does need punters I suppose.
2. Have a vegie garden of reasonable size/variety
It’s fair to say that this isn’t going well – all my carrot seedlings were zapped by the last hot day we had. What’s more, the cats keep digging up my freshly raked/planted garden beds – and then they like to clamber over Mr Fix*** while he sleeps, leaving muddy little tracks all over the white sheets. Am not a housewife/refuse to fix. At least my basil plants are living well in the kitchen window. Have been spurred on to ever greater aspirations by my mother’s ace tomatoes which have been turned into several months worth of passata. She is quite the green thumb. Where her thumb is “woodlands”, mine’s probably more a neon highlighter shade of green.
3. Travel overseas with a small child
Grizzlewick doesn’t know it yet, but he and Mr Fix are accompanying me on an overseas holiday. Probably Vietnam I think at this stage, although there is the distinct possibility If not the distinct bank account) to suggest that Europe may be a possibility depending on my sister’s movements. I want to do some more overseas travel, and I’d like to do it before Grizzlewick starts school in a few short years. I have been told this is ill-advised. Frankly, I don’t care.
* More than usual.
** For reference: idiots like to teach themselves things in 3/4 time, requiring 15 capos**** and the manual dexterity of an octopus/orangutan hybrid only made possible by recent changes to stem-cell research legislation (if Tony Abbott is to be believed).
*** If you’re wondering where I am at this point, I am generally up and about making coffee/exercising/cursing 774
**** I realise there are NO songs that require 15 capos – although if Gillette made guitars this would probably be the case.
posted by gigglewick at
6:34 pm
4 Comments:
GW, I say GO! Take the boy and enjoy yourselves! Ignore all the naysayers... We took the Big Girls around Europe for 6 months when they were 3 and 4 (M turned 5 in Krakow) - they loved it - still remember it, and was perfect family bonding time. There were downsides I guess - but we've never been mad partiers anyway, so the inability to run off and get drunk in foreign clubs didn't really bother us!
And 5 acres sounds wonderful! The only downside being that Mr Fix needs to send you on a barista course then your chino problem is solved!
I'm with acton b - five acres would be marvellous and if you're that desperate for coffee, buy one of those handy dandy little espresso machines as well. Vegie gardens are also good and you can have chooks as well, especially if you have five acres. But you'd best go to Vietnam first, or the vegies and the chooks will all croak while you're away. There, fixed :)
Oh, and don't do half marathons. Only odd, fit people do those. Running on hard surfaces really can't be good for your knees.
whoops - that should say "Am not a VERY GOOD housewife"
Sorry about that.
Five acres of grass can be managed partially at least with a cow or horse. An added cost if it's yours, but someone else may take the opportunity to agist on a piece of your land.
My brother has five acres on the Victorian border. There's a great community attitude. The thrasher is often hired to come in and remove the grasses from several properties at the same time before the bushfire season starts. Cuts the costs by doing it together. They also have an enormous bonfire/party night (they're all in the local CFA!) to get rid of debris before the heat of the summer settles in. Go for it, I say.
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