That's what I call "A Sticky Situation"
A few years ago while at the now-defunct Brunswick Street Festival, one of my friends observed to me a universal truth.
That truth is that most of the best food in the world comes on sticks.
I had to think about this for a while, but it didn’t take long before I accepted the veracity of his statement.
So I share with you, my guide to the world of “food on a stick”.
Food that belongs on a stick
Satays
Fairy floss (especially if you have, like I do, an over-developed interest in the movie Grease)
Paddle pops
Toffee apples
Barbecued prawns
Fruit kebabs
Fondue bread, strawberries and frankly anything to be dipped into chocolate
Chupa Chups
Churros (sort of a stick of their own really)
Food that could be improved by being placed on a stick
Felafel – much easier to handle than a souvlaki
Meatballs (see above)
Sushi (I figure it’s only a matter of time before some enterprising catering company comes up with this)
Ferrero Rocher (can’t see that these can be much improved, but think of the sense of festivity and occasion that eating a chocolate of a stick would bring)
Food that probably can’t be placed on a stick
Spaghetti Bolognese
Soup (although you could probably try it with condensed soup but if you’re going to do that, why not stab yourself in the eye with a pen for recreational purposes?)
Tacos
Food you should never place on a stick
Tripe
Spam (this frankly is an extension of the spamburger of which I do not approve*)
Poached eggs
Vodka (it keeps slipping off, and sucking a stick for its alcohol content is not to be recommended…the splinters are a killer)
You'll notice that there's no mention of the Australian institution, the "dagwood dog" here. I don't personally believe it deserves its place in the pantheon of excellent stick-related food, but I suppose millions of show-goers can't be wrong.
It’s not just the food that comes on a stick after all, it’s the environment in which we partake of food on sticks – usually some crowded, sensory-overload experience which may or may not end in a joyous session of overindulgence and, if you’re very lucky, a charming boy like Mr Fix rubbing your tummy while you groan that you will NEVER NEVER NEVER eat another veggie burger on a stick, EVER AGAIN.
* Please do not take this to mean that I approve of the spamburger. I don't.
posted by gigglewick at
11:51 pm
7 Comments:
May I add:
Food that belongs on a stick
Grapes (stick, branch, whatever)
Food that could be improved by being placed on a stick
Marshmallows, which leads neatly to a further list: "foods that can be improved by setting them on fire"
Food that probably can’t be placed on a stick
Porridge (unless, like me, you feel compelled to grab any opportunity in life to say “but that’s no how ye make porridge”)
Food you should never place on a stick
Musk sticks BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE CONFUSING
Have you considered adapting this and starting your own meme?
Yes I'm Not Craig,
I actually had an epiphany that included both setting fire to marshmallows and the lesser (but very patriotic) treat of damper.
Yes musk sticks, never on a stick. On a necklace however.....
Food on a stick with built in tray (kind of like a sword with an expanded hilt arrangement): meat pie and sauce
In fact, food on a sword has a certain appeal!
In fact, food on a FLAMING sword! We could start a franchise!!
Meva,
You are a goddamn GENIUS.
I reckon you could probably even just put a whole mess of party pies (with sauce) on a fencing sword.
In FACT, you could fashion some sort of kebab arrangement alternating party pies, party pasties and sausage rolls!
Why hasn't anyone DONE THIS ALREADY....WHERE IS BIG KEV WHEN YOU NEED HIM (oops, I think he is dead).
This is right up there with the toast restaurant a friend and I wanted to start a few years ago. Rolled Federal-Government-funded-small-business-grant GOLD.
Also on the list of foods that are improved by setting them on fire, we must add "a cabbage".
Well, only if the cabbage is placed on a stick (obviously), soaked in diesel fuel and stuck full of more sparklers than a hedgehog at a Mardi Gra.
You don't actually eat the cabbage, but the effect was spectacular.
That was quite a party. People are still talking about it.
I had a dagwood dog for the first time in years at the show and was profoundly disappointed. Somehow, I had remembered it as being rather less like a sponge dipped in stodgy batter and cooked in lukewarm lard. Silly me.
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