Things I hate (redux)

I have had a week of swings and roundabouts, where one moment everything is plummeting into a brontosaurus-sized pile of poo, then the next minute exalting itself in a myriad of pleasures. At the weekend I managed to lose a hubcap from my car, crack my windscreen and break a Christmas tree holder. On the upside, we had a lovely barbecue with all our friends, our car dealer replaced the hubcap for free and the windscreen is covered on insurance. But let’s not allow these trivial successes to distract from the real issue – which is my increasing irritation.

Christmas decorations that act as de facto “starting lines” for Christmas idiocy

I don’t know how it is where you live, but the moment the Council put up the Christmas decorations in the streets here, everyone went feral. Less than 24 hours later the number of cars on the road had doubled, people were elbowing me out of the way in the fruit store and wandering the streets wide-eyed with terror* about the approaching festive season. To the best of my knowledge, December began a short four days ago, and people really need to get some perspective**.

People who send rude, career-damaging circulars and then don’t retract accusations when proved to be wrong

Ccing emails to people who have the potential to be my future work colleagues with stinging accusations about alleged performance issues = evil. Especially when the person responsible for this has now had to admit to my ultimate superior*** that in fact they were wrong/tired and emotional/completely out of line. It’s the wrong thing that bothers me most – if I had done half the things I was accused of, I’d expect a rude email to be sent at very least to me. But not only did this person fail to check their facts, they sent a blistering email to five other senior people. The person responsible is yet to send an email correcting the record to the long list of people to whom they sent the original email. This is not the first time this has happened to me, so I’m fully prepared for the notion that they will do nothing of the kind, leaving the accusations unchecked except by me, and clearly I have a vested interest. Luckily it appears that this person is being seen for the puce-faced, unbalanced, huffing hysteric that they are.

Toilet rolls

No, that’s not true. They’re a functional item to be sure. But I hate it when you’re trying to carefully “start” a new toilet roll and the paper rips into a thousand tiny strips, necessitating the tearing fifteen metres worth of paper to solve the problem and not look like you've had the kind of panicked toilet visit usually only experienced after your first meal of meet in six months****.

Stupid, thoughtless Christmas gifts

I’m going to assume that no members of my family are reading this blog, when I reveal that a member of my extended family once gave each and every male relative a pair of jocks and a nutcracker for Christmas*****. She did this with no sense of irony. In fact, she could not figure out why people were sniggering. The same year, she gave all the women in the family nylon lace teddies in a variety of hideous colours. Wrong wrong wrong. Most people can open their Christmas gifts without an impending sense of doom. Not in our family, you can’t.

Hot northerly winds

They can just get f-cked.

Forgetting my lunch (which is not the same as “losing my lunch”, although I hate that too)

This isn’t a regular occurrence, but it really does bother me when I go to all the trouble to make a lunch, and then leave it at home. I have no one to blame for this but myself. But that doesn’t make me any less cross about it.



* that could just be me.

** although I am in a position to be smug, as I have done most of my Christmas shopping. I may well stay home for the rest of the month.

*** Not God.

**** not that I'd know anything about that.

***** Did I blog about this last Christmas? I'm clearly not over it.