Emergency #72

Gigglewick's phrase of the week:


“Non-specific emergencies”

This phrase is used on the safety instructions card at my workplace to describe everything other than armed intruders, fire, health crises and public disorder. I like the idea of a non-specific emergency, it sounds like the kind of time when you could reasonably run around in a flat panic - yelling and waving your arms in the air. I’m pretty sure that isn’t the safety instruction given, however.


Here are some non-specific emergencies I’d like to see in my workplace:

sudden infestation of chocolate frogs

flash flood of ylang-ylang scented spa-water

crisis meeting to ensure total staff familiarisation with season seven of The West Wing

friendly intruders with neck massage skills

emergency evacuation to pub on corner*


Sadly, I think that wishing for emergencies is also against workplace policy. Ah well, a girl can dream.


* Strangely enough, in the event of an emergency, the pub (car park) is actually our place of congregation.