Don't believe the hype
In not entirely unsurprising election news, the latest GiggleWickPoll was released which reveals an increased resentment in the community as the election draws near.
100 per cent of the polling population has reported an increase in anger at the Liberal Party’s election advertising – due mainly to increased interruptions not only to commercial viewing such as So You Think You Can Dance but also putting valuable minutes between the intelligentsia and Not Quite Art.
101 per cent of those polled prefer another Prime Minister to John Howard, and qualitative research shows that popular choices include not only Kevin Rudd (30 per cent) but also Julia Gillard (40 per cent), “Anyone except Peter Costello” (5 per cent) and “Me – I think I’d be good at that” (26 per cent).
65 per cent admitted that they regularly lie to opinion pollsters, with a further 25 per cent conceding that they would not reveal to opinion pollsters whether or not they were truthful in their responses. 10 per cent of people polled revealed that they regularly adopt a persona while speaking to opinion pollsters (e.g. wealthy business tycoon, sports star, pirate), which may impact on poll’s effectiveness, and certainly has led to an increase in speculation about a “free parrots for all” election promise.
Other pressing issues on the agenda for the electorate were “what am I going to make for dinner”, “why don’t people put their paper towel in the bin after they’ve washed their hands in the workplace toilets” and “should I put some more songs on my Ipod”. While neither major party admits to responding to polls, an announcement is expected this week on the critical issue of dinner confusion.
While this poll presents worrying news for both the government and the opposition, the electorate is also anxious. When asked about plans for election night, 60 per cent of the electorate planned on getting drunk before the polls were closed, 30 per cent planned to bite their nails to the quick as they sweated in front of the ABC coverage. 10 per cent of those polled were undecided, pending the outcome of further polling, how Kevin Rudd's hair was looking and whether or not there was a barbecue/car-boot sale at their local polling venue.
100 per cent of the polling population has reported an increase in anger at the Liberal Party’s election advertising – due mainly to increased interruptions not only to commercial viewing such as So You Think You Can Dance but also putting valuable minutes between the intelligentsia and Not Quite Art.
101 per cent of those polled prefer another Prime Minister to John Howard, and qualitative research shows that popular choices include not only Kevin Rudd (30 per cent) but also Julia Gillard (40 per cent), “Anyone except Peter Costello” (5 per cent) and “Me – I think I’d be good at that” (26 per cent).
65 per cent admitted that they regularly lie to opinion pollsters, with a further 25 per cent conceding that they would not reveal to opinion pollsters whether or not they were truthful in their responses. 10 per cent of people polled revealed that they regularly adopt a persona while speaking to opinion pollsters (e.g. wealthy business tycoon, sports star, pirate), which may impact on poll’s effectiveness, and certainly has led to an increase in speculation about a “free parrots for all” election promise.
Other pressing issues on the agenda for the electorate were “what am I going to make for dinner”, “why don’t people put their paper towel in the bin after they’ve washed their hands in the workplace toilets” and “should I put some more songs on my Ipod”. While neither major party admits to responding to polls, an announcement is expected this week on the critical issue of dinner confusion.
While this poll presents worrying news for both the government and the opposition, the electorate is also anxious. When asked about plans for election night, 60 per cent of the electorate planned on getting drunk before the polls were closed, 30 per cent planned to bite their nails to the quick as they sweated in front of the ABC coverage. 10 per cent of those polled were undecided, pending the outcome of further polling, how Kevin Rudd's hair was looking and whether or not there was a barbecue/car-boot sale at their local polling venue.
posted by gigglewick at
10:59 am
7 Comments:
teeheehee.
crap. What am I going to make for dinner...
Also, I shall be spending election night in The City on a belated birthday getaway.
199% of people polled snorted when they read this post.
Obviously, I had to take the poll twicw to get those figures. Second time around, I found one dude with no sense of humour/ no nose.
I demand to know the major parties policies on free parrots - if they pander everyone else why is my desire for a jaunty parrot marginalised? And what is their stance on peg legs? Or pieces of eight?
I'm pleased that you are getting the truth of the matter out there Gigglewick.
Awesome post gw.
Must remember my pirate persona next time my local member (and I don't mean the flasher who lives at the park on the corner) greets me.
"Ahoy me matey. I be right 'appy by Davy Jones' Locker that ye be such a grand, pleasin' gentleman o'fortune. Not like 'em other sons of biscuit eaters an' mere sprogs! Th' squiffys.
Aye, upon th' election, by the powers, I expect ye 'll be loaded to the gunwales in hearty, grand, blazin' celebrat'n of such an occas'n me grand buccanneer. Ooh arrrr. But 'ang on a minute, what'll ye be doin' for me parrot?"
PS - No one should ever, ever interrupt So You Think You can Dance.
Never.
Ever.
AB,
that sounds very pleasant. do you have a blackberry?
INC,
hee hee.
KR,
I think the current government believes that, as a woman, you chose the parrot you took and therefore deserve no special treatment.
Eleanor,
thanks - and you're right. Like Channel 10 need any help stuffing up its flow. I THINK NOT (nudges AB).
I don't notice the ads in sytycd. I record it onto the puter and am feverishly writing up my recap during the ad break.
But IF I was watching them, I would indeed be cranky at all the angry red lettering and shouting of the word 'UNION' in my general direction.
Joe Hockey is a bloody fool. Thank you for alerting me to this (though I did know he was a toss pot, this confirms my view with substatial evidence and so next time my mum starts doing her salute to Joe over her morning paper, I'll remind her of that quote)
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