I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "mister," thank you very much
I was amused to read in the local paper the ALP candidate and the sitting conservative MP described as “arch-rivals”. Let’s leave aside the fact that the ALP dude is a first-time candidate (and a keen one at that). In my estimation, there is nothing more rib-tickling than politics being likened to an episode of Batman.
I expect to see the following article next week:
Countrytown candidate promises clean fight, use of lasers
“Local Labor candidate Mr Bovver Union has this week challenged his Liberal opponent, Mr Stuffed Shirt, to a winner-takes-all race for the pink slips to the seat of Countrytown.
“Stuffed Shirt has reigned over the good people of Countrytown long enough,” Mr Union said in an exclusive interview from his lair, a hollowed out volcano shaped like Kevin Rudd’s head. “I will not rest until the hypnotizing gamma ray he has trained on the terrified inhabitants of this region is extinguished”.
While he would not detail the specifics of his plan for victory, it is understood that Mr Union’s tactics include the use of amusing campaign slogans, door-knocking and a completely awesome utility belt.
Mr Shirt responded that Mr Union would never defeat him, as his power was derived from a magic crystal hidden in a secret location. “Union is crazy if he thinks his utility belt can defeat me,” he said, adding, “Bwa ha ha ha ha ha”.
Mr Shirt’s first salvo in the campaign occurred yesterday, when he released his band of flying zombie monkeys across the region to promote WorkChoices, resulting in traffic chaos and disruption to local dairy herds.
While traditionally a supporter of Mr Shirt’s candidacy, the leader of the Agricultural Values Legion, Mr Struggling Farmer, was not impressed. “The cows are really upset," Mr Farmer said. "Mr Shirt should know better than to turn his back on his traditional constituency,” he said. “We now have no choice but to unleash our Kelpie-trons™ on the national Parliament”.
Will the Kelpie-trons tear the arse out of Barnaby Joyce’s pants?
Will Mr Union triumph in his battle?
Will Mr Shirt overcome his nemesis to retain his stranglehold on Countrytown?
Stay tuned for regular updates in this epic battle of good and evil!!!!
I expect to see the following article next week:
Countrytown candidate promises clean fight, use of lasers
“Local Labor candidate Mr Bovver Union has this week challenged his Liberal opponent, Mr Stuffed Shirt, to a winner-takes-all race for the pink slips to the seat of Countrytown.
“Stuffed Shirt has reigned over the good people of Countrytown long enough,” Mr Union said in an exclusive interview from his lair, a hollowed out volcano shaped like Kevin Rudd’s head. “I will not rest until the hypnotizing gamma ray he has trained on the terrified inhabitants of this region is extinguished”.
While he would not detail the specifics of his plan for victory, it is understood that Mr Union’s tactics include the use of amusing campaign slogans, door-knocking and a completely awesome utility belt.
Mr Shirt responded that Mr Union would never defeat him, as his power was derived from a magic crystal hidden in a secret location. “Union is crazy if he thinks his utility belt can defeat me,” he said, adding, “Bwa ha ha ha ha ha”.
Mr Shirt’s first salvo in the campaign occurred yesterday, when he released his band of flying zombie monkeys across the region to promote WorkChoices, resulting in traffic chaos and disruption to local dairy herds.
While traditionally a supporter of Mr Shirt’s candidacy, the leader of the Agricultural Values Legion, Mr Struggling Farmer, was not impressed. “The cows are really upset," Mr Farmer said. "Mr Shirt should know better than to turn his back on his traditional constituency,” he said. “We now have no choice but to unleash our Kelpie-trons™ on the national Parliament”.
Will the Kelpie-trons tear the arse out of Barnaby Joyce’s pants?
Will Mr Union triumph in his battle?
Will Mr Shirt overcome his nemesis to retain his stranglehold on Countrytown?
Stay tuned for regular updates in this epic battle of good and evil!!!!
posted by gigglewick at
1:06 pm
6 Comments:
Oh. I think the use of the word 'nemesis' is sadsly lacking in political reporting at the moment. I am so glad you're bringing (sexy) nemeses back.
I'm hooked. On the edge of my seat. Mesmerised by Mr Union's utility belt.
If I ever have to vote on teh funniest sentence ever written, then "Will the kelpie-trons tear the arse out of Barnaby Joyce's pants" will be so far ahead of the competition that I won't even have to consider alternatives.
And don;t think we won;t be holding you to that promise of regular updates on this story.
I eagerly await the next installment. If only the evening news could make it as riveting. I'm barracking for Barnaby Joyce's pants personally. They've got it almost as tough as the farmers.
MsB,
could you please never again use the word "sexy" to describe anything that contains a reference to Barnaby Joyce? But apart from that, thank you.
INCraig,
You know, unlike the seventeen other posts I've alleged have some kind of follow up that never seems to appear, I think this one might be serialised if the mood takes me.
Blakkat,
Yes. Yes they have.
Brilliant article. Maybe next week they'll produce laser guns.
Kelpie-trons ;)
I am loving all this pre-election jargon that is building up. The Labor candidate is out in full force in my suburb. The Liberal candidate is assumably sitting back, enjoying a bubbly. He has never lost yet.
That is a wonderful post, GW! Can we have few *POW*'s and *KER-UNCH*'s in the next episode? And what about a 'Holy democratic debacle, UnionMan!'?
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