Saturday, September 27, 2008

And they rain a friendly storm

So, the other week I had the unfortunate experience of attending a funeral. I say that it was unfortunate because it was a funeral of some one who died far too young, leaving small children behind. A very devoted parent, who had not yet had the chance to finish his life's work.



It was a sad occasion, made marginally less sad by the insistence of the Catholic priest who oversaw proceedings that everything is, in fact, about Jeebus.

Even rock and roll music.

I'm not sure what others think, but I'm slightly bemused by the hypocrisy of the Catholic Church now claiming to be the divine inspiration for songs like Queen's 'Fat-bottomed girls'*. I'm personally of the view that Queen, and their ilk, are not so much about Jeebus as they are, as my friend L observed, about "big dumb rock". And occasionally wizards.

Rather than dwell on the sad circumstances of the funeral, it has led me to a few observations:

Mr Fix claims he can't sum himself up in the average four song set-list of a funeral. However, I have decided that The Fauves' 'Understanding Kyuss' would not be an inappropriate funeral song for him. He agreed. I'm starting to think I should actually be recording my ebb and flow of funerary song-offerings somewhere.

Something perverse in me suggests that 'My Doorbell' by The White Stripes might pep things up a bit at my own funeral.



My mum says she would like to be turfed off a local jetty in a hessian sack rather than have her family (namely, me) spend a lot of money on a funeral and particularly, a casket. While I see the sense in this, it has been raised by more than one person that the jetty does not really afford much opportunity for the body to be either a) consumed by sharks or b) float out to sea, located as it is right next to the main beach.

WTF is up with teenage girls and funeral attire? I had a rather crotchety conversation with a friend post-event about the incredibly large number of young women wearing things like this:





I'm starting to wonder if I'm turning into a grumpy old woman, but not only did I question these young women's fashion choices, I also paused long enough to wonder "Why did their parents let them out of the house, to go to a funeral, looking like that?" Yep, I'm a bad-tempered old crone. But also THEIR CLOTHING WAS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE AND DISRESPECTFUL. Seriously.

In other news:

1. I have started a Spin class. For those who are tempted, be warned....YOU MAY VOMIT IN PUBLIC. This is my friend A's entire reason for not going.

2. Grizzlewick may or may not have used the word 'fuck' in conversation the other night. I thought I heard him say "Who is making that fucking noise? I wish they'd stop it".

When I asked him what he had said, he said "Sorry. I said "Who is making that racket noise? I wish they'd please stop it"."

It is impossible to tell if he swore or not, although careful questioning since seems to suggest that perhaps he doesn't actually know what word we're talking about when we say "the f-word". He accused Mr Fix of using the 'f' word the other day when he said "frozen".

3. My sister's back. It's ace.


* I'd like to reassure readers that 'Fat-bottomed girls' was not in fact a funeral song in this instance. It is a stand-in for the actual song played.

5 Comments:

Blogger iSay said...

NIce to have you back, you grumpy old woman, the blogosphere has missed you.

9:55 pm  
Blogger I'm not Craig said...

It is possible that, at some point, some Christian dude may have implied that "Fat Bottomed Girls" is the least Christian song ever. It is also possible that the dude in question was me.

In any case, nothing could be further from the truth.

Fans of the BBC series "Coupling" may remember a lengthy speech delivered by particularly nutty character Geoff Murdoch on the subject of bottoms, which concluded with something like "When God created bottoms, he didn't say 'Oh well, it's just a basic hinge, I think I'll knock off early. He said "behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages, men and women will grab these and shout my name."

Clearly, fat bottomed girls is practically a hymn.

For the record, the most evil song ever written is "Womaniser" by Britney.

9:47 pm  
Blogger Mex said...

i am constantly bemoaning the fashion choices of the young and i am even less old than you so it just goes to show that the youth of today.. blah blah blah crotchet crotchet grump grump etc

3:05 pm  
Blogger gigglewick said...

BF,

I'm not sure how that's psychically possible (and yes, I mean psychically) but thanks!

INCraig,

Sometimes it's a surprise to me that you're not a minister yourself.

Mex,

You haven't been stalking me on facebook have you now, hmmmmm? And if so, why no friend request?

heh heh.

11:14 pm  
Blogger I.Sirius said...

I had the sad duty to attend the funeral of a friend last year who was 20.

And yes, I too was horrified what was worn by some.

I'm getting old... and grumpy... and conservative. In my books Christmas is about unwrapping what your heart desires, if it is all there to see then where is the fun in that?

So, IMC, where does Spinal Tap's anthem "Big Bottoms" rank in the annals of Christian song?

I've always wanted Miles Davis' 'Blue in Green' to be played at my funeral. Also 'You've got a Friend in Me' from Toy Story.

2:16 pm  

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